Pain: What Is It?

Why you should run toward the beast; not from it.

Pain…….. A human condition that plagues so many humans today in so many ways. A condition no human wants. Not even the toughest ones. Yes the toughest ones might handle it better but I can attest from experience, even the toughest one doesn’t want it. But it is the tough one that will not run from it. The tough one understands some things others do not. They might not know why it's there in the beginning but they know it's there for a reason. And that reason is? To teach you a lesson!!! Whether you fuckin want to admit it or not. The more you fight it, the more it’ll come. And pain…..is a relentless beast that will sneak up out of no place.

Before we begin, let's take a few moments to talk about what pain is.

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Pain By Boring, but important, Definition

A: a localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and typically results from bodily disorder (such as injury or disease)

acute shooting pains

: a basic bodily sensation that is induced by a noxious stimulus, is received by naked nerve endings, is associated with actual or potential tissue damage, is characterized by physical discomfort (such as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leads to evasive action

B): mental or emotional distress or suffering

Simply put, pain is uncomfortable sensations sent from the brain to the body that signals injury or illness. At which time, we take our asses to the doc, right?! For some, that is not always the case.

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pain

Pain Defined by the Tough Person aka Stubborn or Uneducated.

A sensation that causes immense physical distress that HURTS. To the tough person, sensations of numbness, tingling, pins, and needles, sensitivity to contact/touching, itching, extreme cold, extreme heat, or burning sensations are not considered PAIN.

What types of pain are there? There are many types. I am not a medical doctor but they consist of acute, chronic, neuropathic, nociceptive, and radicular. When discussing pain, it is tracked by using the 1-10 scale of “how much does it hurt?” 1 being it doesn’t really affect me. 10 being life-debilitating. Physical pain can lead to mental pain. Both of those can push you to another type of pain. One, doctors do not resonate with. When the physical and mental pain is not taken care of, or, if no results are coming back, you could very well be dealing with spiritual pain.

Because I am not a doctor, we will be speaking about pain when the doctor has no answers. The spiritual is manifesting as physical. In a way, it’s “in your head” aka your actual brain being pushed by the spirit/soul within you as all pain comes from the brain. On the other side, it is NOT in your head. Truly!! Please believe me when I say….I do not believe what you are experiencing is in your head. Shit is SERIOUSLY going on yet your medical doctor can not figure it out. Because, I hate to say, it is more than likely not medical. There are so many illnesses that can actually be helped by things like meditation, breathwork, exercise, and creative projects but here in the west…..NONE of that is EVER suggested let alone prescribed. Ever!

I, personally, had a doctor, tell me to re-learn who I was as a woman. The man met me before he became my doctor while I was a barber downtown. I am a type-A personality. The tough ass who is ambitious, determined, trusted no one, never “needed” help, never asked for help, never took hand-outs, and tried to be everyone's everything. I worked as much as I could, took care of my family, home, and I was early for work by 30mins EVERY day. In winters, when I was not needed as much in my home, I worked “late”. (Later than my normal time and Id try to stay as long as possible). I did jobs on top of my passion that I shouldn’t have like bookkeeping, cleaning baseboards and cupboards, toilets just to be considered irreplaceable. No one else around me would get off their money-making asses to make sure a business was good all-round; not just making money but deserving of that money made. Everyone around me only got off their asses to cut clients' hair. You see….I am ambitious and know how things SHOULD be done. I was ALSO trying to be a leader by showing what is to be done; not by being bossy or screaming at people. I realized I was doing too much when the owner told me he wished I had no children so he could give me a shop…… Because I had children, even though that was my dream, to have many shops and to teach barbering…...a man wouldn’t believe I could handle both even though I already was! Just minus the good paycheck. As a child, my mother held me to incredibly high standards even though we were dirt ass poor. She did not hold my siblings to the same standards for some reason. But essentially, I was raised like I was a military brat so you can be sure my standards are as tall as a mountain. The asshole in me doesn’t want to be around, in, or hang out with anyone or anything dirty. Too many humans have EPICALLY low standards in this area of cleanliness and we also have too many bad products out there. And people wonder why we have covid now…..I wish I did not know why covid has happened….It hurts my fucking heart.....but I digress.

Now that you have read a piece from my life, do you see how pain might have started? Some might see it. Some of you? Not yet? You’ll get it once we go further.

Pain…..does not discriminate. It does not care how perfect you are. It does not care how imperfect you are either. It does not care what you have going on.

Pain does not care what colour your skin is, how old you are, what your income is, what your social status is. That beast does not care about your ambitions, your determination, or your God damned dreams. Actually….pain will step in and try to knock down every hill you’ve climbed. It’ll come in kicking over that beautiful dream you’ve been working on when you least fuckin expect it. It will leave you feeling like “WTF MAN?!” Pain, like so many other things, is energy. A “fuck shit up” kind of energy and that’s exactly what it’s gonna do. Fuck up your shit. But…..that beast is there for a reason. That beast stepped in because?!?!!? In SOME place in your life, YOU stepped out of line. Not the line of society, not the line of your family, not the grocery line, or the DMV line. You stepped out of YOUR line. What am I talking about? I’m talking about YOUR line aka your path. You dropped the ball…..SOMEPLACE on the path. You probably didn’t mean to. I know I didn’t mean to! Fuck no!!! Lol The world might have put a lot on your plate or made you think you need to do this or that or be X, Y, or Z. Pain is stepping in to tell you this; Whether or not you listen is up to you.

Why DID the pain step in, you might be asking now? How the hell am I supposed to know?! I did not step out of your line because your line is not my line. YOU did. And now? It’s time to turn INWARD. You can’t have anyone fix this pain other than yourself. Yes, you MUST check with a doctor to make sure something medically isn’t going wrong. That’s part of this process, Sorry! Get that shit figured out. If something comes back, work with your doc to fix yourself up. But…..lots of people are coming back with pain and no answers.

This is where I'm here to tell you….It’s because you’re off your path. Whatever it may be. It’s THAT simple. It’s time to turn inward and the reason is that only YOU know what is best for you, ultimately. Yes, you can absolutely ask for assistance and guidance but the actual work must be done for yourself. I really wish I had someone to assist me with this when I realized this. Pain will make you realize a lot. Pain will make you realize who your tribe is. Pain will make you realize if you’re being authentic. Pain will make you realize how strong you are. Pain will make you realize how much you can “embrace the suck”. Military personnel is quite professed at this skill. (Embrace the suck: VERB, MILITARY SLANG: to consciously accept or appreciate something extremely unpleasant but unavoidable or forward progression.

So! What to do next? Make pain your best friend. Lean into the beast. Yup! You read that right. Lean. into. the beast. Run toward the beast. Embrace the beast. Accept the beast. But most importantly…..learn from the beast. It is YOUR beast. Your beast is your teacher. Your beast is there to support you on YOUR path. You can best believe your beast will upset you at times. Accept it and move on. You are human. I can NOT stress this enough.

YOUR BEAST IS YOUR TEACHER, YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND IS THERE TO SUPPORT YOU.

Remember I said earlier, the pain will come when you fall off your path. Look at your life. Look at the people. Look at the activities. Look at your hobbies. Look at how you take care of yourself. DO you take care of yourself? Body, mind, AND Spirit? Are you focusing on only making money and nothing deeper? Are you chasing things society told you to? Chasing what your parents told you to? Are you stressing about shit you should not be? Worrying about things you have no control over? Are you surrounded by people who do not TRULY care about you? That is an easy one to figure out. Start telling everyone you know “NO” without reason. You’ll see who actually cares about you INSTANTLY!!!!! Did YOU know, the word “no” is a complete sentence that does not require any other words to come with it?! TRUE STORY!!!!! Sometimes….It’s my favourite word; besides the word ‘Indigo’ that is. I love that word every day. No clue why. Lol

There are many angles to look at your path from. Here’s a question for you. Have you ever sat down and had a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself? I bet if you’re reading this because you have pain…..You have not. Especially if pain is new to you. I was SERIOUSLY shocked when I did this with myself. I did this as a meditation which you do not NEED to do. This was just my way and choice. I simply just asked myself what do I need to do at this time and what would move me? The response I got…... I was not expecting it. For you see, I asked to specifically speak to MY SOUL on this. The response was this:

“You may refer to me as SHE as I know you have issues with HE due to what you see in the world, your eyes have always been so open. Dance. And we are to teach. “

That's it! To the point. Gentle. Kind. Understanding. The loveliest being I've EVER spoken with.

She did not say she was pleased with the fact I have a love for males of this world even though I do not trust them but I could feel that one. She was pleased I still had a love for the males. I am grateful she was so knowledgeable that I did not need to explain and she just knew…..the love IS there for them but let's keep shit female for now. I get misunderstood A LOT! Today, I am about the female where I used to be about the males. I took many yoga teacher training sessions so I could learn to flow/dance and well…..I’m teaching as you read.

My soul is also a stinker though. I am writing this because SHE will not allow me to sleep unless I do this. She does this as well when it comes to my tattoos. My soul will FLOOD my psych with images until I put the pencil to paper. The second the pencil touches the paper…..the flood stops. So she REALLY wants to teach some shit these days, she doesn't care what so she flooded my psych with thoughts on my niece, pain, and turning inward.

Why did I just tell you that? To give you an example of how shit will fuck up for you but also…..fall into place. Because I leaned into my beast, I spoke to my soul. Because I leaned into my beast, I became stronger in SO many ways. As I age, I become stronger, not weaker. Is my painfully gone? Fuck no! It won’t leave because I need it. It’s how I know, I am striving for the wrong things. Truly. In 2019, I took on a volunteer project with a bunch of addicts. The pain I experienced during this time was horrendous. I realized things about this project but…..was being my stubborn ass self and was pushing through. What I realized was the women of addiction did not want me there to TEACH them. They wanted me to tell “my stories” just like my children do when they need guidance in life. The women did not want the teachings of what the center wanted them to do. I realized the CENTER wanted the women to do yoga and meditation and for their staff. I have become extremely intuitive when it comes to humans. When first asked, it was for the women of addiction that visited this center. Once I said Ok, they then assumed I would also teach the staff. That was not discussed. I noticed these things in the beginning. I learned something kinda hard with this; Just because I am capable, does not mean I should. The woman who asked me to do this project had the same qualifications as myself and was ALREADY a volunteer for the center yet she passed the project off to me. Something also struck me…..The woman who asked me to do the job didn’t listen to me in the past. I had told her that I am not doing volunteer work anymore, I have done my own share of helping in this world, it is time for others to help others. Simply, it's time for me to teach and stop doing it for everyone. It has nothing to do with ego but instead knowing your place. THE SECOND I decided to step away from the center………I hate to say…..my pain went away. INSTANTLY and stayed away for I don’t even know how many months.

Look at your life. Look at it REAL damn good. Are you on the right path? For you?

Grab a pen and paper. Think to yourself for a moment a simple question. Something as simple as “what do I need in this life at this time? What would make me feel alive/moved/passionate/calm/steady that is healthy?” Choose a GOOD feeling you want to experience. Sit down in a comfortable spot, spine straight, shoulders relaxed, eyes closed, rub and press palms together, bring hands to your chest, thumbs connected to chest/to your heart, take long slow deep breaths, do this for a few minutes, feel your calm, the slower the breath, the easier it is. Think about your question while you continue to breathe. When you feel ready, slowly open your eyes and relax your hands down.

I’m going to warn you now. Yoooou might not get a response at that moment. Especially if you are new to meditation and intention setting. But who knows?! I told a young woman to do this. She got no response while meditating. Instead, the gentleness that was sent to her came in a dream. Her dream told her to “Find Luna, Find Luna, Find Luna. Luna can assist you, FIND LUNA”. She and I had JUST met. She told me she did what I told her. Got nothing but had the weirdest dream. I smiled when she told me her dream as I could see what was happening and said….. ”they told you to speak to…..me. I am also Luna to some and you heard me say Luna recently. I was gifted the name Luna for a reason. It's why they told you to find Luna. We have the same given name. They could not tell you to find Alisha because you'd think they were telling you to find yourself when that's not what you asked. You were asking for spiritual assistance not finding yourself assistance. They told you to speak to me because nothing scares me other than 2 things, I “see” things, and can assist you without scaring you. If I do not know something, I say that shit too.” I do not know where she is on her path but I do know she is much more open to weird or different things now. Especially working with my inappropriate ass….. Teehee

So do not be surprised if your answer is nothing or gets sent to you differently if you choose to do a meditation. Ultimately though? Sit with yourself and look at your life objectively. Ask yourself if this or that is working for you. Or find a friend who is good at probing questions to get you assessing. But no matter what is going on, learn the most important lesson now. Be Kind and gentle to yourself. You deserve that. Your Beast is TRYING to tell you. You just need to sit and listen. Pain can be your friend if you allow it. Run toward your beast and learn from it.

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